Teen Anger Management

Frequent shouting matches, slammed doors, and endless opposition are exhausting – especially when they come from your child.

You probably know that firsthand. You might even wonder if you went wrong somewhere as a parent for your teen to have such uncontrollable anger. You’re their parent, after all. You should be able to calm them down, and you should’ve taught them ways to stay level-headed, right?

That isn’t always the case, and your teen having trouble managing their anger doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It just means they need extra help.

About two-thirds of US adolescents have experienced anger to the point of defacing property or threatening or engaging in violence. Another study suggested that at least one in four teens experiences anger to the point of verbal or physical aggression. You and your teen certainly aren’t alone in this.

Bricolage Behavioral Health offers anger management treatment tailored to each teen who comes to us with uncontrollable anger. We’ve helped countless teens and their families find stability again. We can do the same for you. Let us tell you more about our care.

If your teen has a hard time managing their anger, we’ll discuss recent situations where they've lost their temper. What triggered their anger, and what did they hope to gain out of that situation? Perhaps your teen became angry because they feel like no one listens to them or tries to understand them, which is a common theme. We’ll then teach them healthier communication strategies so they can explain their thoughts effectively, eliminating this misunderstood feeling and, over time, reducing some of their anger.

Aside from tailoring individual therapy to each child's motivations, our whole-group therapy is also key to treatment.

Typical group therapy for teens involves everyone sitting in a circle, talking one at a time. The therapist facilitating the group will probably ask some questions, but mostly directed to one participant while the others zone out. Most of the kids in the group will get everything they’ll get out of the session as soon as their turn in the circle ends.

We do group therapy differently at Bricolage. We minimize downtime and keep teens engaged every step of the way through group discussions, multimedia, role-playing, partner work, and extensive active practice. This is a far more effective use of therapy time, ensuring that every teen consistently learns, grows, and heals. They also form genuine bonds with their peers and discover more effective ways to communicate alongside other kids who understand where they’re coming from.

Anyone can benefit from anger management therapy. Everyone deals with unproductive anger and mismanaged feelings at times, especially teenagers. Learning anger management techniques can only benefit your child.

However, there are some cases where anger management therapy is necessary, not just a helpful suggestion. If the list below sounds like your teen, it’s time to seek treatment:

• Anger over seemingly minor inconveniences
• Breaking things when angry
• Getting angry and arguing over the same things repeatedly
• Verbally or physically lashing out at others when angry
• Frequent regret over what they said or did during an angry outburst
• Eagerness to blame others for unpleasant situations
• Inability to compromise
• Feeling angry most of the time

Certainly. Anger plays a key role in a variety of mental health conditions. We break it down in the chart below, but keep in mind that no matter how much a condition sounds like your child, it must be diagnosed by a mental health professional. This list also isn’t comprehensive. Anger can be involved in just about any mental health concern. It just depends on the child.

If one of these conditions sounds like your teen, it’s a great time to enlist help from a mental health professional.

If none of them fit quite right for your child, that doesn’t mean their anger is “okay” or that you shouldn’t be concerned. While diagnoses can be helpful, they’re ultimately just a label for a cluster of symptoms and do very little to actively help a teen recover. What matters most is what makes your teen angry, why they get angry, and what we can do to help them regulate their emotions so they can have a more stable life.

While teens with extreme anger can always benefit from therapy, there are some techniques you can try at home, too. These might help:

• Committing to a yoga or meditation class to learn strategies to calm down
• Creating a calming playlist
• Journaling their feelings out
• Calming breathing techniques, like breathing in four seconds and out for six seconds
• Spending time with animals that comfort them
• Exercising
• Making art to represent how they feel
• Thinking through their anger once they’re more level-headed, taking note of triggers, how they reacted, and how the trigger made them feel

Different things will work for different teens, so it will take some trial and error, and most importantly, practice to find the best strategies for anger management. Do your best to remain patient and compassionate, but accept that you won’t be perfect, and that’s okay.

All healing in the realm of mental health requires time and effort. The brain is a muscle, and if one of your other muscles isn’t functioning optimally, you might go to physical therapy. There, you’ll complete exercises that slowly but surely “teach” the muscle how to work well again. The same practice is necessary for brain dysfunction, like trouble regulating anger. The more you and your teen practice these strategies, the easier they will become to execute, and the better your teen will manage their anger.